In early July 2021, in anticipation of an afternoon ride, I backed my apparently possessed 2001 BMW R1100RT motorcycle from the garage, propped it up on the center stand, turned it on to warm it up, and walked back to the garage for the helmet and protective clothing. When I turned around, I noted that the headlight was not on and a plume of smoke was coming from the dashboard! I knew I had a smokin’ hot BMW but not that hot!

I turned the bike off and wheeled it back into the garage. Obviously, self-immolation was something I didn’t know how to fix so I called Stuart in Morton’s BMW service department. During the summer, motorcycle repair departments are overwhelmed but Morton’s also had a chief mechanic leave so Stuart said they couldn’t look at it until September, two months away. Wait! This is the primary riding season. I would have to rent a trailer and tow the bike to Fredericksburg two months from now and wait who knows how long for them to fix it. No bike for four months?!

Stuart helpfully suggested that changing the headlight bulb is possible without removing anything if you can work blind in a small space.

But this was not going to be a simple headlight bulb replacement, oh no tadpole, we needed to see if the wiring had melted. Why would it melt? In 2018, Mortons replaced, at my request, the standard H4 halogen headlight bulb with a Cyclops H4 LED. The old bulb was pathetically dim and the new one incredibly bright! Bright enough to self-ignite apparently.

600-pound paperweight

Fighting my natural inclination to rid this cursed machine on Craig’s list, I asked Jeff to look at it. Really? Jeff knows nothing about motorcycles but has the courage to take apart anything and figure out a solution. So we began another Fixit adventure.

Taking the “Tupperware” off this bike is not easy, at least for this klutz. All the working parts are shrouded in plastic — odd-shaped right and left body fairings held on by 16 bolts each — and of course, the bolts are not all the same size. The headlight assembly is under the front fairing and you have to remove both side fairings and a bottom cowling to reach its bolts … and then remove the dashboard with another dozen bolts.

To ease the pain, we made a cardboard diagram of the screw locations and put the screws in little holes.

I now know that while LED bulbs do not get hot, the electronics that make them work do. Despite my expectations that LED bulbs shine forever, they don’t. I have had two in my 2017 Pacific burn out. Best I can figure, the Cyclops’ high-speed cooling fan in its base apparently stopped working.

Jeff soldered in a new H4 (Sylvania 9003) socket and we used a new Sylvania 9003 (H4) Silverstar Ultra halogen bulb.

Putting the BMW back together was a chore especially since when I finished, I found two large bolts left over. Off come the two side fairings again since the bolts were needed for the front fairing. At least I’m getting better at undressing and redressing this machine. So here is the final product but the bulb is disappointingly dim. Sigh, may try LED again.